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What's Your Refuge?

These are the words I have right now, a swirling, mashed up mix of statements and poetry.

watercolor painting by Nicole Javorsky

Dearest Doodle Soupsters,

Swimming in the depths of my soul, I already know … I look past the borderline, punctured, penetrated … a hole, a piece of me taken … yet, my soul isn’t up for grabs … I am fearless, and no longer frozen …

How many lines, how many layers, it felt like carving into, yet still the simplicity of pencil on paper, something pure and raw, something so real?

I could say it a bajillion different ways, whether plain speech or in poetry, whether in song or dance, drawing, painting, collage .. and I will …

What is your refuge?

In swooping, swishing,

Over, under, around,

Blue, orange,

Splish and splat,

I say what I cannot (yet)

In line, in paint, in crumple up, rip,

Rip, cut, paste, overlap, uncover, reveal …

I’m searching for something,

I’m trying, trying to name something.

You may not know what it is,

I may not yet have the words,

Together we will call it and

Call upon something raw and real,

Something magic inside

So we no longer have to feel that

Bitter taste in the mouth,

Rotten overload, without the words for it …

And in calling it by its name,

We learn how to free ourselves from it



Singing it out,

Dancing it out,

Doodling it out …

This is how we find the courage …

This is how we survive and then someday,

Find a way to truly live,

Raw magic, really being here …

We can and we will

These are the words I have right now … a swirling, mashed up mix of statements and poetry … and in sharing these words, I’m accepting that it’s okay to speak however I can … it’s okay to feel all mixed up and hurt and be working through something … it’s okay to not want to share everything and still want to share something …

Working through,

Nicole Sylvia Javorsky

P.S. Today’s reflection question: What is your refuge? Where do you go when you need to feel safe and protected? When you need a break?

watercolor painting by Nicole Javorsky made with blue and orange watercolor pencils

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